elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

koolaidclitoris:

OKAY SO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE SHITTIEST COOKIE RECIPE ON THIS GOD FORSAKEN ROCK WE CALL A MOTHERFUCKING PLANET. So Ghiradelli, who was once a beloved and trusted name in my household, gave a chocolate chip cookie recipe on the back of their chocolate chip bag. Innocent baking fun, right? NO! ASSFUCKING WRONG! I did not deviate from their instructions because I trusted this demon possessed chocolate connoisseur of evil intentions and broken dreams. I HAD THEIR SHIT FUCK EGGS AND THEIR GODDAMN BAKING SODA! BUT IT DIDN’T MATTER! But I was still unaware as I prepped the betrayal dough to be put on the baking shit, like a lamb for slaughter. And I can remember, so clearly, me thinking “ungreased cooking sheet?” BECAUSE IT SAID UNGREASED BUT I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!! So I placed the balls of soon to be destruction and misery on the sheet and placed them in the oven. and waited. And then when I removed them from the oven THEY WERE MOTHERFUCKING PUDDLES ON THE MOTHER FUCKING PAN. I waited for them to cool, hoping they would come out in one piece and this monstrosity could be saved. But as I raised my spatula to slide the cookies out: pure carnage. IT WAS LIKE THESE ASS SHIT COOKIES WERE WELDED TO THIS SHEET! LIKE IT WAS TRYING TO REMOVE THE FUCKING SWORD FROM THE STONE! No cookie was spared. And this. THIS is what I have to live with now. My once baking innocent is shaddered, and I will never be the same, not since after the war. I can still hear the sound of the spatula scraping the sheet, constantly scraping 

this is the angriest response to cookies i have ever seen

recipzees:

when you’re making cookies, right before you pop em in the oven, do you ever just really want to eat the dough? then you do. then someone shouts at you about salmonella or some other disease and you sigh because cookie dough is jusT SO GOOD.

welp! here’s the recipe for edible cookie dough! no sickness risk!

Total amount of time: ~10 minutes

Ingredients

•  1/2 cup of all purpose flour
• 1 pinch of salt
• 3 tablespoons of butter
• 1/4 cup of brown sugar
• 2 tablespoons of white sugar
• 3/4 teaspoon of vanilla extract 
• 1 tablespoon of milk
• 1/4 cup of chocolate chips (mini, if you have them)

Directions

Combine flour, white sugar, brown sugar, salt, butter, vanilla and milk in a bowl. Then, fold in the mini chocolate chips. 

You can either put this in a little bowl to eat like a soft dessert, or roll the dough into little balls and cool them. Once cooled, you can throw them into ice cream or whatever else you like! Stick a lollipop stick into the dough balls for cookie dough cookie pops! 

Enjoy!

more recipes here 

BLESS THIS RECIPE

So when I was like 11, I made a batch of cookie dough and tried to hide it in the fridge in the basement. Not one of my more brilliant ideas. This recipe, however, is brilliant. So quick and easy to make, and it’s a fairly small batch which I may actually finish before I even finish making this post.

I used a hand mixer because that shit is way faster and easier than mixing manually. That might be why this is so smooth, although the OP pics look pretty smooth, too. It’s a bit sweeter than I was expecting.

I didn’t add chocolate chips because like shit I just made cookie dough for the expressing purpose of EATING IT who wants to waste time opening a package of chocolate chips? However for purposes of science and also because my Roommate and I have somehow accumulated five bags of chocolate chips, I’ll go get some.

(ugh my camera is terrible)

SUCCESS the bittersweetness of the chocolate chips helps alleviate some of the super-sweetness of the dough. Alrighty, I’m going to go put this in the freezer to firm up a bit, and then DEVOUR IT.

A++ love this recipe!

la-food:

Chocolate Peanut Butter Torte - Recipe here

I saw this and I had to make it. It turned out really well, and was a huge hit. It was super rich and large and serves about 16-18 people. 

There are a lot of steps to this cake, but none of them are particularly hard. I messed up twice and it still turned out well.

I used my own pastry instead of the cookie one, because we never have cookies in or house that aren’t homemade. That given, I would urge you to try the one they suggested. It would work really well. 

I used instant coffee instead of espresso and it was fine.

I used candies peanuts and just didn’t add the extra bit of sugar it called for in the crunch. 

I would cut out the nutmeg altogether and limit the amount of cinnamon. This cake is loaded with flavour and I found the nutmeg distracting and unpleasant. 

It really needs the full four hours uncovered to harden. It was still a bit runny in the middle when we cut into it after the four hours, but the next day it was perfect. 

It was a great cake and I am already planning to make it again!

raggedyanndy:

raggedyanndy:

nerdy-girl-getting-fit:

Healthier Mozzarella Sticks!

What you need

• 12 sticks of string cheese in your choice of cheese, go for the low sodium kind if you want to be extra healthy
• 1 egg
• 2 tbsp of flour
• 5 tbsp of bread crumbs
• 2 tbsp of parmesan cheese
• A dollop of olive oil, or cooking spray

Preparation

• Cut the cheese sticks in half, making 24 slices, then freeze the slices in the freezer until completely frozen
• Beat the egg in a small bowl. Use a separate bowl to combine the bread crumbs and parmesan cheese
• To bread the cheese sticks: First dip the frozen cheese stick into the flower, then into the egg, then into the bread crumb mixture
• Once all of the 24 sticks are coated, place them on a baking sheet covered with aluminum foil coated with a few drops of olive oil or sprayed with cooking spray (this will keep cleanup to a minimum, and keep the sticks from sticking!)
• Bake in the oven at 400 degrees for about 4 minutes, or until crisp. They need to be watched closely so they don’t melt completely!

OMG I NEED TO TRY THIS

So I made these tonight!

Made a bit of a mess on my fingers with the egg and bread crumbs. Next time will make sure cheese is completely frozen; I think it’ll give the coating more time to get crispy before the cheese gets too melty. Very good and very easy!

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